How to Use the Top 5 Love Languages

You may express affection to your beloved one regularly, but do you really take the time to make sure you're communicating it the way your partner wants to receive it? 

The top five love languages are five different ways of expressing and receiving love: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. 

Not everyone communicates love in the same way, and in addition, people have different ways they prefer to receive love.

Here's an overview of each of the five love languages and how they can be applied and optimized — even during a pandemic.

1. Words of Affirmation

Couples with words of affirmation value verbal acknowledgments of affection, including repeated "I love you's," compliments and words of appreciation, and often digital communication like texting and social media engagement.

Written and spoken shows of affection matter the most to this type of people. 

These expressions make them feel understood and appreciated.

2. Quality Time

Couples whose love language is quality time feel the most adored when their partner constantly wants to spend time with them and is always down to hang out. 

They especially love when active listening, eye contact, and full presence are prioritized in the relationship. 

This love language is all about giving your undivided attention to that one special, without the distraction of TV, phone screens, or any other outside interference. 

They have a strong desire to spend time with their loved ones, have meaningful conversations, and share recreational activities.

3. Acts of Service

If your love language is an act of service, you value it when your partner goes out of their way to make your life easier. 

It's like bringing you soup when you're sick, making coffee for you in the morning, or picking up your dry cleaning for you when you've had a busy day at work.

This love language is for people who love when actions speak louder than words. Unlike those who prefer to hear how much they're loved, people on this list like to be shown how they're appreciated. 

Doing the smaller and bigger chores to make their lives easier or more comfortable is highly cherished by these people.

4. Gifts

Gifts is a pretty simple love language as you feel loved when people give you visual symbols of love. 

It's not about the money value but the symbolic thought behind the item. 

People with this style value the gift-giving process: the careful reflection, the deliberate choice of the object to represent the relationship, and the emotional benefits from receiving the present. 

People whose love language is receiving gifts love being gifted something that is both physical and meaningful. 

The key is to give meaningful gifts that matter to them and reflect their values.

5. Physical Touch

People with physical touch as a love language feel loved when they receive physical signs of affection, including kissing, holding hands, cuddling, and sex. 

Physical intimacy can be incredibly affirming and serve as a powerful emotional connector for people with this love language. 

The roots go back to our childhood when some people only felt deep affection and love from their parents when they were held, kissed, or touched. 

People who communicate their appreciation through this language, feel appreciated when they are hugged, kissed, or cuddled. They value the feeling of warmth and comfort that comes with physical intimacy.

Conclusion

Love languages are useful tools to improve how we communicate and express ourselves to each other, but they shouldn't be the be-all-and-end-all solution for happiness. 

It should perform as a starting point that sets couples on a journey to communicate with each other in a more profound way and self-regulate better. 

But the work shouldn't stop there!