Why Speaking About Your Ex During Your Date is a Good Idea

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The last thing you would like to hear out of your partner's mouth is the name of his or her ex -- but talking about an ex isn’t always a bad thing. 

It can help build a strong foundation for your current relationship.

Experts say the individual growth that leads to healthy and stable relationships begins with heartbreaks, and one of the best ways to turn past disappointments into future relationship successes is to share these experiences with your new partner.

But how should you start to talk about the subject? 

Dredging up stories of past relationships can be traitorous, and it's worth taking the time to think about how to do it right. 

Here are some tips to know before talking about an ex with your partner.

1․ Talking About Past Relationships Gives Your Partner Insight into Who You Are

Remembering and talking about your ex helps you communicate to your new partner how you grew into the person you are today. 

Romantic relationships often serve as an experience that lets you test the boundaries of your interests and needs. 

Reflecting on a past relationship will help you find out something new about yourself that you may have missed during the past relationship.

With partnerships, you're spending so much time with that person and have so much more intensity that they have a chance to be a greater influence than other things are in shaping your character.

2․ When It Comes to Talking About an Ex, Timing is Everything

The beginning of any new relationship may not be the best time to drop the ex-bomb. 

There's no hard and fast rule when it comes to timing, but you definitely want to give a relationship time to develop before adding in any emotional third parties. 

One of the biggest turnoffs that people have, when they’re starting to date again after the ending of a romantic relationship, is hanging out with someone that can only talk about their ex.

If you want to get your brain geared up for a new relationship, you need to build your partnership and put the past aside for at least a little while so you can have your own set of experiences and goals.

3. Know That the Reason You're Talking About Your Ex is to Move Forward, Not Backward

Once you've shared the lessons of your past relationship with your partner, it's the best time to continue to get to know him or her, form a new bond, and create new memories.

Don't let your current relationship weaken. 

There's always more to learn about the relationship at hand, so you should give it as much attention as possible.

Conclusion

Bringing up the past relationship in a mature, healthy way can actually be very revealing!

If you bring up an ex in casual conversation, someone who is secure will ask an appropriate amount of questions — he or she won't probe too far or brush off the conversation like it never happened. 

If you can get through the conversation with neither of you squirming, that's perhaps a good sign.

Also, how your new partner speaks about past relationships can be a predictor of how he or she might treat you.

As experts say people tend to follow patterns, and whatever they have done in previous relationships they are likely to do again.

If you listen carefully to how your new partner describes his or her previous relationships and how he or she speaks about their exes, you can learn a lot about how this person is likely to treat you.